<TITLE>01. Par 1-2</TITLE>53-1206A, Life Story, American Legion Hall, West Palm Beach, FL, no tape
L-1 "I can't stand it." I said, "I can't..." She... "Oh," said, "she went on."
Said, "I can't get over my baby...?... what God taken my baby, and why would He do it?"
All right. In a year and six month's time, and even previous to that. I lost my father, my brother, my wife, and my baby in just a little bit, right straight one, two, three. And that's just the last of it all. My daddy died in my arms. And my brother's killed on a--a telephone pole, right in front of...
And that night coming home, I told mother. She was all broke up too. Dad had just recently went. And so I went over to home then to go in. I tried to pass... I just want... My mother wanted me to stay in her house, and--and my mother-in-law wanted me to come down there. And if you ever have a home of your own, there's no... then there's just no place satisfies more.
And I went up over there, and I tried the bassinet. It's cold, and I had this one little stove out in the kitchen, a--a--a room out there. And--and frost and snow was coming up through the floor. And I'd go in there of a night and try to cook. There was little old cot laying there. And I went in.

L-2 That night, I'd never forget it. And I went around the corner. I picked up the--the paper, and the mail in the box, and went in, went in the house. There wasn't... We didn't have any furniture. But they wanted me to get rid of it. But friends, it wasn't very much. But what it was, it belonged to her and I. And we had it together. No matter how poor I was, it was ours. I didn't want to get rid of it. We had lived together; she had taken care of it.
I seen her clothes hanging up behind the door. I just couldn't forget. And I got my mail and went around. I was staying in an old cold room. I been working. First one I opened up, it said, "Miss Sharon Rose Branham," little eighty cent Christmas saving, and it sent back to me. Oh, my, there was it all over again. I couldn't stand to think I couldn't go any farther...
I knelt down and started crying and praying. I went in the next room, got down in the box, and pulled out my revolver, thirty-eight revolver, put six shells in it. I'd been hunting. Come back in the room. I said, "God, I--I'm going insane. I don't want to bring a reproach. I'm going insane. I'd rather commit suicide than to go insane. So I'm going to meet you now." And I meet... "Father, You forgive me for the sin. I can't stand it any longer; You're not consoling my heart. I can't stand it any longer."
And I pulled back that hammer; I put it up side of my head. I knelt down there by that old dirty cot, said, "Our Father Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy Name." Begin to squeeze on the trigger... "Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done." I squeezed with all my might, and the hammer wouldn't fall.
And I said, "Oh, I can't even take my own life." I threw the gun, it went off, but it went out through the house like that. I thought, "Oh God, what can I do. I was--I'm dying it looked like." I threw my head over on the bed; I went off to sleep. Just a few moments to close.


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